What is coming through the most strongly in my musings on this experience is the sense of timelessness and the need for patience and acceptance in order to enjoy the moment. My brain will hum and purr until the next thing I experience is coming back into consciousness after being away from myself for some unknown period of time. Then I must simply be. There is no knowing how long I’ve been away, or how long I still have to lay here, pondering the darkness. There is only liminal space. There is only my consciousness. And then there is the music.
The profound effects of this experience haven’t come in the tank. My life has shifted and changed in so many incredible ways since I began this project. The clarity that has come through the stillness in the areas of my passion, creativity, vocation, dharma and relationships since February has undeniable links to these floats. Accessing that still place in myself where I am able to listen deeply and respond from a place of complete presence with my own center – my own consciousness – with nothing else clouding my actions. I am finding it is from that place of stillness, the most distilled and potent action arise.
Taking the time to breathe, be ok with what is – time being irrelevant, foreknowledge being irrelevant and unknowable, just be with it. Then move.
Float 4, 5/8/13:
I wish I could say I am starting to have startling revelations of all kinds. I had a very difficult time being present with the experience this time. Some time through I wondered if I should simply get out. A lot of this may be the fatigue, perhaps also a little dehydrated. Blech.
Float 3, 5/7/13:
Noticing how tactile based of an organism I am. Coming into the music, I celebrated being able to STRETCH OUT and feel the walls to my sides and move around to the music. My first inclination was to do my piece in the tank! 🙂 I am not experiencing any of the cool visuals I was hearing or thinking I would. ;-( Wondering if it has to do with my state when I come in or if it is more fundamentally to do with who I am.
Everyone’s experience of this has to be different. There’s no way people experience it the same. My time so far with each float has been very similar. A lot of distracting brain chatter followed by periods (I can not imagine how long_ of semi-conscious to completely unconscious existence. The one thing I do recognize this time is the total separation from time – all sense of linear consciousness or existence. The sensation )if you can call it that_ of having no clue (except at the end_ of how long you’ve been in or how much longer to go is perhaps and likely, a completely alien concept to most people these days in their waking state.
Upom awing from this float I did notice my limbs feeling profoundly heavy ONLY after bringing them from the surface of the water. Moving my right knee and head up from resting into the water was far more difficult that usually reclining, and this experience I had my first time as well; a parallax of time as I rose, experiencing it taking far longer than normal.
It took way less time to relax into the water this time for sure. Perhaps I’ll just have to wait for the juicy visuals! 🙂
Float 2, 5/5/13:
Carried a lot into the tank with me this time as well. Went trying to have a clear mind but continually caught myself with clutter filling my head.
Early in the float I began to see a tom of visuals that I’ve had numerous times in the past. I call it the “wormhole” as it looks as though I am being pulled or flying or being invited, or shown the way (that’s it) into the space directly in front and away from me. In this case, up into darkness. It was a red pulse this time but it has been green, purple, yellow and blue also in the past.
That dissipated after a while and gave way to semi-conscious bursts of lucid presence and semi-unconscious periods of brain chatter, from which I would catch myself in and feel somewhat anxious and guilty coming out of, but always moved back into stillness and calm.
My body feels relaxed and well but my mind is still very troubled.
Float 1, 2/20/13:
At first, feeling of reduced weight was beautiful. Just feeling myself suspended was very liberating. Having the knowing that for the next 2 hours I had nothing else to do but lay here and relax was incredible. Such good practice for life! I had to get out and clear my eyes of salt once and it took a second to get back into it. Slowly, I worked into moving about a little, rifting back and forth. It felt like being in space must feel like. I tried letting go of my body completely so my mind could as well. Ultimately I passed out of my body and awoke to music. It was truly sweet. I feel wonderful.