Estelle: Float #3

Very different float…..many contributing factors.

I went to my 11 p.m. float right after a milonga, a formal tango dance.  I danced for nearly two hours, with little rest.  I am always super keyed up after tango, and wondered how this would be, right afterwards. Purposefully experimented with the timing of my float in this way. I think I was hoping it would be a nice contrast – the frenzy and passion of tango followed by the nothingness in the tank. In truth I was restless for a long time into this float, and in moments throughout. The longer float time felt long, too long almost. But, there were other factors too…

This was my first float in an Oasis tank, supposedly wider, definitely not tall like the Deep Ocean tank. My initial reaction upon seeing the tank was not pleasant. It’s reminiscent of a space pod, long enough for a human, and with a hatch style door that has to be closed as you climb into the tank backwards.  Even though the spaciousness felt the same once I was in the darkness and ears submerged, I had to remind myself not to think of the smallness of the area I was contained in.  At this point I think I prefer the more spacious, taller tank, but I am still willing to give the space pod more trials. Constant reminding to relax during this float. Often, gentle pulling of my hair to relax my neck, release tension.

The first hour, it seemed (difficult to tell time in there), was full of tango song after tango song in my head. Songs from the previous night’s milonga, songs my mind is most familiar with, song after song. I liked this, found myself smiling about it. I had several moments of wanting more of my leg muscles submerged in this float, which is not easily accomplished when you’re so buoyant. So, I found myself turning at the waist to submerge one thigh at a time. You can’t roll over, it’s amusing. I also noticed, you can’t really turn your head. Although somehow I did get some saltwater in my eyes this time. Not sure how, but I seemed to have awakened at one point and realized my eyes were open. And, then as I opened them wide, they were stinging. I wondered what time it was. I wondered if I could wait until the music started playing…I sat up and waited a few moments, closing my eyes and opening them. Every time I opened them they stung a little bit more. I found my way to the door and pushed it open. There is a nice salt lamp that glows amber in the darkness of this room. I only used this light to shower off my face, my eyes. I resisted the urge to check my cell phone for the time, wanting more so to be submerged again because despite the differences of this float experience, the calm was already ensuing. Once I was back in, it didn’t take long at all, not even a minute to be near motionless, to be so still. I drifted again….my body wanted to sleep now, but there was a lingering restlessness in this float. Despite the restlessness, I was able to find timelessness. I was able to soar through space. My mind did find the nothingness eventually. And yet, for all that I enjoyed in this float, it also felt long….

Upon waking, or coming into realization, the last time there was a clear voice in my head that said, it’s time to get up, your body is done. Intuition was loud and clear. I sat up and didn’t hesitate much in getting out, carefully of course. The return to gravity dictates slow and careful movements. After slipping off the salt I did rummage through my purse and checked my phone. Sure enough, my time was up and my music began. Funny. Trippy.

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