Kirsten: Float #4

Day before:

It’s been fun thinking of these as space missions.

Fun and… ??? Like the movie Contact coming true. In a way.

Sound. Music. Just recorded some.

Mask idea came through: elaborate mask of cardboard and/or plastic, combination of dragon and the skull being… interesting way to show confluence of dimensions. Bright paint, lots of points. Like rows of shark’s teeth, but neutral in intention. Open to imagination/interpretation. Something from another part of the spectrum.

Also make something with all the plastic packaging I’ve been saving up.

Via Turning Wheel Astrology:

“At this stage in our evolution (and in the Uranus-Pluto transit) we have to be willing to accept help from unlikely places, because we need all the help we can get. We also have to be open enough to understand the signals, to read the signs and have enough authority to take action when action is necessary.  And lastly, we have to be clear enough that we can trust what we feel.  Here is a meditation that Joyce Mason writes for this chakra:

‘Third Chakra Meditation: I trust my feelings. They are my power. My body responds to all questions and provides answers. The universe is in my body. I open to interpreting and following my instincts.’

“For the next few weeks and months, focus on your Solar Plexus chakra, which is your internal Sun. It is your own solar power: endlessly renewing, giving generously and sustaining life wisely.  Breathe into it. Imagine it glowing and healthy. Feel what it is that you need and learn to trust your instincts. Like learning anything, it takes practice and patience.”

From this week’s Free Will Astrology (Sag is my moon and the moon of the full moon eclipse on Friday. My sun’s in Gemini, which we just went into):

“Are you ready to go deeper, Sagittarius? In fact, would you be willing to go deeper and deeper and deeper? I foresee the possibility that you might benefit from diving in over your head. I suspect that the fear you feel as you dare to descend will be an acceptable trade-off for the educational thrills you will experience once you’re way down below. The darkness you encounter will be fertile, not evil. It will energize you, not deplete you. And if you’re worried that such a foray might feel claustrophobic, hear my prediction: In the long run it will enhance your freedom.”

This week there will be a float Wednesday night, a float Thursday late late night into the sunrise, and then full moon eclipse the next day. Okay.

From Facebook just now:

“The unknown is terribly tempting, and danger even more so. But in its contempt for the instinct of the individual, modern society has done its best to eliminate both these phenomena: certainly, under present conditions, the unknown no longer exists except for those whose emotions are easily intoxicated, and as for danger, everything visibly assumes an inoffensive hue each day. And yet in love–love of all kinds, whether it is the physical fury, or this specter, or this diamond-like genie who murmurs to me a name equivalent to coolness–in all love there resides an outlaw principle, an irrepressible sense of delinquency, contempt for prohibitions and a taste for havoc. Confine this hundred-headed passion within the boundaries of yr estates, if you will, or requisition whole palaces for it: nothing can stop it surging forth elsewhere, always elsewhere, there where its appearance is least expected, where its splendor is an outburst. Best of all, love thrusts up shoots where no one plants it: how vulgarity convulses it!”

(from The Passage de l’Opera)

AFTER:

Was that seriously 2.5 hours?! Quickest float yet. Came out afterwards and the first person I see is Kaj-anne. We debriefed, open and mellow and totally in present float tense. Untense. Interesting—the “phantom others” in the project now begin to materialize. Tomorrow’s the first group meeting.

Can’t believe it was 2.5 hours. Breathing. What to say… lots of mulling-over, in a good way, of events from this evening. Really felt the ocean this time. Feeling like I need to make part of my film at the ocean. No feeling of outer space this time—just ocean.

Came through how for so long I’ve lived in my head—which is a beautiful, magical place to be—

Internal dancing. “The magic mirror,” K. says, “internal wind and external wind.” Like in butoh. Energetically dancing, all the time.

So—head, beautiful dark jeweled cosmic place… and in this float asked my body if I could trust it again. Realized how deeply I’d still been afraid to do that, had given up on it as a possibility. Related to the skull and pelvis (from earlier floats), their dimensional qualities. Always swimming, drifting, dancing through my mind these days.

Near the end started breathing down into my feet, had to really bring attention back to it.

K. says he follows no rules (ever) and also in floating. I was noticing that this time and last time—how I sort of just assumed there were rules but of course there are NONE. None.

This was such a gentle float. I even had forgotten my contact stuff and just decided to go with it anyway. There was no problem at all. So calm. Nothing extraordinary, nothing irritating, just… calm. Perhaps I’m becoming used to the landscape? And it continues to unfold…

Moved around, stretched spine… breathed. That’s all. Said thank you a lot.

Tiny little emotional releases—re-trusting body, letting go of legacy of grandmother(s). At one point the ocean was all my grandmothers and ancestors holding me up, presenting/supporting me into the utterly new. “You are not us. You are different.” Which is almost like a challenge, and a charge. On the front lines. Can’t fall back into the old ways, even though it might feel safe because it’s been done and is the story. I come from the sea—I rewrite the story.

Arms keep coming up: literally and figuratively. Last night in the tank, arms out in a right-angled T, felt a little like this:

Holy Fire (Alex Grey, 1987)

Holy Fire (Alex Grey, 1987)

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