The most restless float yet. My body did not want to let go. I moved and moved, stretched, adjusted. Breathed in through each energy center from root upwards, took many tries to get up past the heart. When I finally got to the pineal gland, reality started shifting and unfolding. An upside-down rose-like carnation, pale purple, bloomed as though the sun was beneath it. Very crisp.
Lower back wanted touch, release, spaciousness. Swimming through the water felt easeful, but stopping could not find its place of ease. Tight belly, systems not as clear and open as I have been experiencing. I went in on the buzz of Michael Meade’s talk from earlier in the evening, with the intention in mind, “be the sea.” Allow myself that unfocused space without pressure of a choice, so that the hand of divinity could pluck me out and place me back in its mouth [context: from the story of the man being plucked out of the sea of consciousness by Vishnu and tossed back into the dream world inside his mouth).
But that desire to be plucked out of the morass of ambiguity is itself an expectation- how do we go on if we don’t know we will be plucked out from the place of not knowing where to swim?
[Much to say about the Michael Meade talk- his willingness to dive into darkness is a perfect metaphor for what we’re experimenting with here, so congruent with this work. More to come in my next post, along with a little blurb about my first solo rehearsal.]