Going into the float this early morning after dreaming of floating on a moving train last night, going through land, mountains. Something was amiss—no one was having a very satisfying or complete float on the train. Too jostly, too much chaos? It was a little frustrating, even though there was also a sense of lightness, community, camaraderie. The mountain terrain was beautiful, a little snowy, foggy, socked-in.
Going into this float with no expectations, simply the intention of “there is a dance that is coming out of this.” Simply to be aware, listen, remember, transcribe what comes through. On a personal level, seeking release/new understanding of certain relationships and connections, especially whether to confirm taking the job this summer—general next-step illumination. Also integration of these past few weeks.
Was sleepy-ish going in. Letting go of muscle holding, controlling in the body. One fast movement of left arm, as if jerking from sleep. Sensation of drifting to the left through space, inertia of space. Then a dream, though there was no border between wake and dream in there. Main image was looking into the tank from outside the door and suddenly there’s a skeleton pelvis dancing at me. I’m looking right up into it only across the holes was a yellow Ganesh prayer cloth like the one I have—red Ganesh on bright yellow cloth right across the base of the pelvis. Protecting and also a symbol, a gateway. The pelvis was dancing, moving wildly, deep African dance style, coming at me, almost had to duck. Then I was in the tank again and thought I woke up and sat straight up, could see light coming in through the tank walls, hazy general light. Kind of like in the movie Contact when she’s about to go through the wormhole and the walls of the spacepod become translucent. Except this was foggier, more like daylight. Then was suddenly floating in the dark again… as if both things, both experiences, had happened and were true. Dreaming and waking, overlapping.
Then felt very awake—there’s definitely a difference between floating at night and in the morning. Was thinking of what was going on out in the daytime. Let myself relax again. Sensation of stagnancy within—muscles, lungs. It’s so noticeable in there. Stretched a lot, moved more than usual (during a float). Worried I wouldn’t hear the wake-up music, which is never true.
All the bits and pieces are fully visible in there. The hidden anxieties, the holdings.
Later in the day:
Now I’m lying/resting/writing out in the sun—polar opposite of this morning, where there was no light, definition, boundaries.
Lying facedown on the ground in the bright sun. This morning was face-up in water in utter darkness.
Floating really is like traveling to other worlds/systems/dimensions. Remembering, recording.